Win-lose negotiation techniques related to influencing emotions

Service Business

Emotions in negotiations are not advisable. Under the influence of anger, people make wrong decisions, express opinions that are intended to hurt the other party, express what they feel at the moment. Negotiating negotiators behave aggressively and do not think clearly. They want to defeat their opponent at all costs - they do not make any concessions, they insist on their position and no matter what, they want to pursue their own interests. And this does not lead to a favorable agreement. Emotions can also weaken common sense. Win-lose negotiating techniques, personal attacks and threats are to contribute to negative feelings in the partner who, under their influence, agrees to the other party's suggestions. How to protect yourself from such acts?

Win-lose negotiation techniques: personal attacks

Personal attacks are a win-lose negotiation technique, which consists in attacking the other party by encroaching on their personal sphere. By pointing out the partner's weaknesses and flaws, accusing him of incompetence, we make him nervous. When a negotiator wants to defend himself, he reacts emotionally and gives vent to his feelings. An emotional skirmish takes place for a few moments, after which the attacked person feels a bit exhausted. Therefore, in order to end unpleasant negotiations, it is much easier to agree to the other party's suggestions.

Example 1.

A negotiator who wants to use personal attacks initially makes an innocent introduction, e.g.

- If you really knew the business, you would know that it is a very profitable proposition.

- Did you even understand what I meant? Again, I have to explain everything to you from the beginning.

- It is impossible to talk to you at all. We have one issue and you are another. Do you understand what we are saying to you or are you retarded?

- I do not know why you keep saying that your financial situation does not allow you to lower prices. Your competitors are doing well. You are not able to act as they do?

The further course of the meeting depends on the reaction of the other party. If the partner discovers that the statement contains an unfair statement about him (e.g. his competences have been undermined), additionally cynically or slightly malicious, and responds to the other party in a similar way, the technique of personal attack produced the intended effect.

Try not to be emotional when negotiating. If you find that your partner is trying to upset you, don't let him succeed. Stay calm and ignore the malicious comments. You can turn it into a joke and say something funny. Conduct negotiations to end them as quickly as possible, but remember to pursue your interests.

However, if the other party's negotiators continue to use the win-lose negotiating technique against you, get away from the table. Inform that you will not continue conversations in such an atmosphere and that you do not wish to be insulted by anyone. Express your disapproval of the other party's behavior. This is not how adults should behave.


If you want to successfully defend yourself against personal attacks, use one of the counteracts: Colombo, openness, empathy, warning or departure.

Win-lose Negotiation Techniques: Threats

Working out an agreement requires concessions on the part of both negotiators. Sometimes one of the partners does not intend to limit his demands and tries to force his contractor to accept his proposal. For this purpose, he uses the win-lose threat negotiating technique.

Example 2.

- Mr. Kowalski, your proposal is absurd to me. I cannot agree to your terms. If you do not accept my delivery terms and you do not agree to the extended payment term, I will present my offer to your competitors. And they are interested in doing business with me and my company.

Threats can be more or less harmful to you. Try to guess whether the person who is threatening you is able to implement what he or she says. Perhaps she is trying to intimidate you, but her words will not apply to reality. For example, contact your competitor and find out if he is able to agree to your partner's offer. This will give you a clear picture of the whole situation.

Don't succumb to threats because if you do it once, your partner will know that they can put pressure on you. Appeal to the superiors of the other side. Let them know how their negotiators are trying to come to an agreement. You can also reverse the situation and start making threats yourself if you know you have more bargaining power than your counterparty. Use this method of defense as a last resort.


Counter-practice departure, warning will allow you to defend yourself against the win-lose threat negotiating technique.