Overcoming Shyness - How Can You Do It?
Shyness can make everyday life difficult. It paralyzes us from performing the most ordinary interactions. We do not feel comfortable in many situations, we stress and we are simply afraid. It is worth realizing that shyness is one of the fears, not a trait or attitude in life. It is also not that we have to learn to function with it, because it is impossible to get rid of - yes, you can! What's more, in this case, you even have to try to cure yourself of it - if anxiety interferes with your everyday, normal life, we should not take it lightly. You can't avoid people forever. How to overcome shyness? We advise.
The causes of shyness
We meet people everywhere - on the street, in the shop, at work, during holidays, at school. In fact, it is impossible to live without contact with another person. A shy person, however, tries to do everything to avoid it, is reticent, and experiences great discomfort during meetings and conversations.
There is no one kind of shyness, and it manifests itself differently in everyone, as do the causes of this fear. Most often it results from the fact that we are not self-confident, we do not believe in our own abilities, we care a lot about the opinion of others about us, we cannot adjust to the situation in which we go beyond our comfort zone. Then we are afraid to show who we really are, because we are sure that someone will judge us negatively. Perhaps the problem is that we also judge others by appearances, look for bad qualities, so we are sure that it works both ways. It is worth considering and looking for the source of the problem.
How to overcome shyness?
As already mentioned above, let's first think about the root of the problem. Perhaps it is enough to just change attitudes towards people and not judge them. Of course, it is not easy and you cannot make such a change quickly, but awareness itself is very important.
Also, remember when was the last time you felt afraid of contact with another person and if it really was such a bad experience. Perhaps you called the office and everything went smoothly, nobody shouted, you got everything done in 5 minutes, but you gathered for a few days. Remember these situations. Something bad awaits you in your head, but maybe what is really happening is different, better, and doesn't require that much effort.
If your shyness is blocking you to the point where you cannot make the simplest of statements - get ready. Before the phone call, write the entire introduction and possible answers, read it when someone answers. A good start can make you relax and it won't be that bad anymore. Of course, it is difficult to predict every question, but preparation will make it a bit more courageous than usual.
Some have to be nice to you and answer your questions. This is the case in shops, hotlines, information points, banks and restaurants, etc. You can exercise in such places. Ask for something even if you don't need an answer. The other side has to be nice and informative.
Although for a shy person going out to people is a necessary evil, do not close yourself within four walls. When someone invites you somewhere - go, even if you don't want to. Thanks to this, you will get used to people, strangers, and you will practice interactions. If you want to overcome your shyness, you have to leave the apartment.
Shyness can also be caused by dissatisfaction with one's appearance. I will not go to someone and talk to him because I have a regrowth of at least 5 centimeters on my head - of course, it may seem absurd, but even such an obstacle can increase my shyness. If our appearance is blocking us, it is worth finding time for ourselves to work on it. The better we feel, the easier we will overcome the fear of talking and interacting with people.
Calm is also very important. Need someone to talk to? Take a few deep breaths, drink lemon balm tea, listen to some relaxing music - maybe it will change your attitude!
Of course, morbid shyness is much more difficult to overcome. This is a blockade that will not be torn down quickly. In such a case, the above methods may be simply ineffective and even stressful. If we cannot deal with shyness alone, it is worth going to a specialist. The therapy will allow you to find out the cause and free yourself from paralyzing anxiety.